I can't believe Im going to share this story.
But its eating me alive today.
My guts are ripped out. And I feel like scum.
This Sweet little boy!
The boy who just went through putting a cast on and the pain of a broken wrist.
The little boy who looks up to him mommy.
Tells me how pretty I am. Everyday!
Never says a unkind word to me.
This little boy.....
Today I let him down.
I forgot about him.
My eyes well up with tears just thinking about it.
Today was snack day for the Jr High kids at my house....
I rushed to make sure it was all hot and ready by the time they all ran in the door.
I was rushing.
rushing rushing rushing.
What I have done for the past 2 days. RUSHING!!!
My fault for continuing to add things to my unimportant list of to-do's.
Editing, planning, playing, stressing, and checking off lists!
With all the chaos of having a house full of teenage kids.
and My schedule slightly different today.
I FORGOT MY SON!
I forgot to go pick him up from school.
have you noticed how cold it was today?
Where I pick him up at is next to a field.....he walks through the small field to meet me, like a large majority of the kids.
I was not there. Can you imagine the concern in his mind?
as 10 minutes came and gone.....15 minutes, 20 minutes......30 minutes.....
IM NEVER LATE!
I am always right there. I am always there for him.
how cold he was?
He probably was so scared, wondering, worrying.
panicked? let down by me?
I'm bawling even typing those words down.
Back to the story,
I asked mike if I should grab Jax or him?
He had other things he was doing so I agreed to pick up.
So mike went about his projects.
I then thought, I hope the kids leave some pizza for Jax...
OH MY HELL!
I yelled for mike I told him to get in the car....
We both left running!!!
I drove away in pure panic....
Where would he be? Curled up in a ball waiting all alone so cold and crying?
Is he kidnapped?
Did someone take him home and then call the cops on me?
Did he walk back to the school? scared?
As we approached the school, we saw a little orange spot in the field walking back to the school.
ALL ALONE! in the cold, in the windy freezing cold!
I floored the peddle down as far as it could go. And it still wasn't going fast enough.
I honked as many times as I could till he looked over and saw us....
as we stopped, miked jumped out and went running towards him so fast.
Jackson running towards his dad.
I sat in the car and watched in the distance and cried as I saw him jump in mikes arms.
Mike held him and cried....
Jackson looked almost lifeless as one arm couldn't fit in the coat sleeve because of his cast....so it hung there, While his other arm was wrapped around mikes neck so tight.
He brought him back to the car and put him in the back seat, I then jumped back with him and grabbed him and cried and told him how sorry I was and that I will NEVER EVER do that again!!!!
His tears were frozen down his cheeks.
His ears were frozen.
His cheeks were red and cold.
His fingertips were ice.
and he just layed on my chest.
We got him home and hugged on him some more.
He ate pizza, played with a friend and now is jumping around like it never happened.
while I still sit here crying!
devastated that I just actually did that!
I asked mike to run and buy him the new Donkey Kong country for the Wii that he has been begging for.
I knew it would make him so exciting and that's the least I could do.
and that's exactly what it did. :)
He is a happy boy! and Hugged me with 60 "I love you's"
Im so mad at myself.
Im so MAD that my first priority being a mother was put second, third and fourth.
definatly praying for a better priority system tonight.
Both girls keep telling me its ok and that we all make mistakes..
This I know.
but Still..........I WILL no doubt in my mind not let this happen again.
oh my heart. :(