Monday, April 30, 2012

Thru her eyes and mine.....

Our Family Thru Charlee's eyes!
{from left to right}
Jax, Charlee, Abbie, Me, Autumn
I love how we are all holding hands.
She is drawing so MUCH lately.
And then uses half the tape to tape them randomly all over the house.
This one was taped next to Abbie's paper mural she is doing in her room!
Charlee wanted to  include her own art!

Woke up, overwhelmed this morning!!
Some mornings I wake up and take on the world.
 Push through with a happy heart.
This morning........
Its heavy.
A little tired.
A little worried.
A little sad.
A little lonely.
A little thankful.
And and little vulnerable.

My mothers Quote she sent out this morning to everyone was:
"Do what you can with what you have, where you are"
~ Theodore Roosevelt
Hit me.

I wish some people were more open minded.
And think peoples intentions aren't ALWAYS to hurt them.
There is good in the world ya know.....
And I wish some people understood that doing nothing at times, sometimes means they don't know WHAT to do.
So they sit.  
But it doesn't mean their heart is a rotten heart.
It purely means they are confused and scared but still wanting.
I know that SO doesn't make sense to you....
but it does in my mind, and it feels good to let that out!
I wish I could clone myself.
I wish I could hire a cook!
A maid maybe?
even a taxi driver........
Jax is home.....
and with pressure of getting deadlines done today among other motherly responsibilities I need to find time to tend to his needs today.
I wish there was other ways around figuring out how to juggle a circus with one hand..
I know exactly what I want.
and being patient isn't always my best quality!
But my patience % level goes up every
I Think I'm grasping it.....
Find a balance with:

Paying your bills.
Making sure your kids are succeeding in school.
Keeping up the house and making it a safe loving home.
Building your kids to know they are beautiful.
Taking care of my OWN needs....
To make sure I get what I need so I can carry out each day.
Do what feeds me & feeds my bucket so I can do the same for my kids!
I can only do so much!
I only have two arms and two legs!
and one heart!
I beat myself up........I know my potential and I don't push to that limit sometimes.
And that's ok!
I have to keep telling myself that its ok!
I can't be 100% everyday.
HELL---I can't be 83% everyday....sometimes its only half!
and half % is better then NO %------

My heart was opened yesterday.....
I felt some good things.
Happy things.
And scary things.
Cried some tears.
and laughed til my tummy hurt.
So now what........?
I guess I will wait and see.......

1 comment:

Betheny said...

You've inspired me today, Annie. Thank you. This one especially hit home because I just started going back to school at Weber State last week and I am sans-husband. He has been gone for almost 7 weeks on business. Keep calm and carry on, right?